DeVaughn’s Storys

I used to be one of those people who had to work hard for money, but now since i’ve found the money tree and have money bushes, the only work I have to do now is pull a leave off the tree and plant it and watch my net worth pile up. But today geo and my self were alone in my home and we got the idea to go on our first adventure.

So, I was walking around watching lizards pass by because Wilma passed by. For all you people that are reading this and do not live in Florida Wilma was a hurricane. So, as I was saying, I was walking by minding my own business when a tree fell on my head and knocked me out. When I gained consciousness, I got up and thought “too bad money doesn’t grow on trees.” And I could swear the clouds opened up and the sunlight shone on the tree showing that the tree did not bear leaves but had twenty dollar bills. I thought the tree was a prop from a T.V. show, but when I tried to use on e of the twenties at an all you could eat restaurant the nice Chinese lady took it, put it up to the light and said “where did you get this money from little boy; did you steal it.” And I quickly said “ none of your business little lady.

Back in this hallway I sit waiting for the next wave of monsters to arrive in front of me. It is no coincidence that I am here waiting, for I have had the same reoccurring dream for the past two weeks now. As I see the monsters come through the opening of the hallway, I find my hand unconsciously unsheathing a sword but to my surprise it feels as though I have had the sword for many years. As I hold the sword out ward pointing at the beast a feeling of completeness surges through me, and for the first time in all the two weeks of this same dream I am no longer looking from the outside in. I hear the war cries of beast & monster alike, they are almost upon me… wake up… I hear some one whisper… Wake Up! … I cover my ears and close my eyes from the loud omniscient voice. When I open my eyes again I am back in my bed, and am surrounded.

            But this time by my family, and before they said it I knew the two words that would come from the mouths. In unison they all said “Happy Birthday” and began to sing, as they sang for my 16^th birthday I reflected on how real the dream felt, from the dark dampness of the blood stained hallway to the weight of the expertly crafted sword tugging at my hip at every step. You could feel every bead of sweat. When they were done singing it was time for me to blow out the candles, the only thing I whished for was for my dream to become reality except I wanted a partner. As I blew out the candles my cousin came in the door. “Hey Val come look what I found” “Ok, hold on a minute” I said. “Well hurry up it’s getting smaller… I think” “what’s getting smaller” I inquired. “You’ll see when ya get there” he said as he started out my bed room door, “wait for me ya jerk” I said as I scurried off my bed towards the door but then I remembered all the people in my room “Thanks for the cake… ugh I’ll see ya later.” I ran through the door before anyone could say another word. From a distance I hear “come on “, this is typical of Marcus, always eager to find something new or have an adventure. “ hold on a minute Marcus I  cant even see you through the trees.” I said that because he was talking to me from within the forest behind my house. I hear rustles in the leaves and then see a familiar figure escape the forest’s camouflage, “fine; fine now that you see me come on!” I followed him through the forest I did without asking where we were going because I thought he just found some animal and wanted to show it to me; but when we passed our normal distance I started to get curious. “So… where are we going?” “Where almost there, keep your pants on” “Now hold”-“listen do ya hear that” “here what, I don’t hear any”-“shsssh… listen” we seemed to be slowing down so I guessed we were near Marcus’s find, so I stopped moving and listened out for anything out of the ordinary. “What is that Marcus” I hear a rumble of some kind that was like a water fall but different, Marcus smiles and said ‘ follow me If you want some fun.” “If I want some fun! What is that supposed to mean” I said. “You’ll see” Marcus said. “Enough of your “You’ll see’s!!!” I want to now where we are goi-” before I finished Marcus pointed at a lake about 10 meters below and jumped. Seconds felt like minutes, days even, as I watched him plummet into what seemed like a shallow pond. I leaned over the cliff to see if he had resurfaced but he hadn’t, I leaned a little too much and I guess the wind blew a little too hard. Because I found my self falling, but I was so surprised by the force of the wind I didn’t even open my mouth to scream, I just braced myself for the impact to come, as a child braces himself for punishment after breaking a window.

 The first story that will be posted will be the Talking Kung Fu Kat…

For today’s news I will be telling you about the cat who said things. Since the name already tells you that the cat can talk, I won’t bother to tell you…arg! Anyways as I was saying there is a talking cat here on D&G’s radio station that wants to tell you his life story. Of course I will continually comment on what the cat says.
ME: so how is the life of a cat who can talk
CAT: Well I would say that it is rather annoying as a matter of fact.
Me: Why is that uhm…? I am sorry but I did not get you name mister ah cat.
Cat: My name is Wallaby P. Cat and as for your question it is rather annoying because people always look at me like I am stupid or they think I am a missing link or something. How would you feel if your own mother disowned you because you were smart mister Man.
Me: Well my name is the stations name I am mister D&G, and I would be rather angry, I might just claw someone’s eye out if you know what I mean. (Cat joke)
Wallaby: yea I know what you mean I had to claw my way out of a laboratory because as I said scientist thought I was a missing link, so they chloroformed me and I woke up in a all white area something you would see in the area 51 place yea it is all coming back to me now…… Flash Back (groan) where am I. That is of no importance; said the lifeless being. You shall be tested on until we get the answers. What answers; I said; once again of no importance; as the menacing thing was saying that he was grabbing something from his pocket so I lunged at him after swiftly getting out of the shackles he had me in. As I dug my nails into the socket of his eyes I realized that he did not feel a thing; while realizing that I was knocked to the floor and–

Hello

Back to Earth

D&G: uhm HELLO!!!!! Can you come back to earth now Wallaby.
Wallaby: Oh I am sorry; I must have drifted off, well as I was saying some really weird stuff has happened to me just because I can talk. I am just really annoyed.
D&G: Right, so your just annoyed… are you kidding me I would be planning some attack on that place right about now I wouldn’t just be annoyed I would furious with the entire world!!!!!!!!
Wallaby: Now you see what I go through, but you just showed your entire audience that I have more control than you… human.
D&G: (panting) well that is the end of our excerpt on silly little cats and how they tick, so I will see you next time.
Wallaby: How DARE you insult my kind like that! Die!!!! (Slices and impacts to the skull)
D&G: AHHHHHHHHH UGGG

(DEAD)

Don’t call him kitty cat

After Wallaby did what he had to do he left the studio unnoticed and happy that he got to take his anger on someone who would actually die. If you are wondering if he is a good or a bad guy I just have one thing to say to you… he is neither, he will destroy anyone who insults his integrity, steps on his shoes, looks at him to long, or even say hello “kitty”, so that went for the little girl who thought he was lonely… That was the last thing that girl ever said, but it was not her fault wallaby was extra peeved that day… well lets just go to the story and you will understand.

Wallaby was just walking on his hind legs toward the fish store when some jerk saw money in his paws. He thought he would just walk up to the little kitty cat and take it like a lollypop from a baby.
Jerk: (ha this will be easy) hey kitty cat what do u have there.
Wallaby: (sigh) It is fifty dollars, why do you ask.
Jerk: (ha why do I ask) Well… I want it, so hand it over “kitty”.
Wallaby: uhm… no, and don’t call me a “kitty” cat, it is quite demeaning.
Jerk: What’s the matter kitty cat, that is your name you know just hand over the money, and I wont have to hurt ya.
Wallaby: NO MY NAME IS WALLABY P. CAT NOT KITTY CAT say it again and “I” will have to hurt you!
Jerk who this cat thinks he is)
Wallaby: die! Once again he slices and dices some one to pieces. But now he is just walking home to rest from all his daily routines.
Wallaby: Why do people insist on calling me a kitty cat, Wallaby suits me well, the next person to call me kitty cat will only have those words to be remembered by. While wallaby was walking a little girl noticed him walking like he had a hard day so she thought to cheer him up. She grabbed some fried fish from her lunch and ran over to him.
Girl: hello kitty ca-
Wallaby: Stop calling me a KITTY!!!!

(Before she could finish her words his claws were already wedged in her abdomen finishing the job.)

Girl: ugh Blood sprayed from her mouth like water from a fountain, it streamed from her ears like the foamy stuff you see from dogs with rabies.