DeVaughn’s Storys

 The first story that will be posted will be the Talking Kung Fu Kat…

For today’s news I will be telling you about the cat who said things. Since the name already tells you that the cat can talk, I won’t bother to tell you…arg! Anyways as I was saying there is a talking cat here on D&G’s radio station that wants to tell you his life story. Of course I will continually comment on what the cat says.
ME: so how is the life of a cat who can talk
CAT: Well I would say that it is rather annoying as a matter of fact.
Me: Why is that uhm…? I am sorry but I did not get you name mister ah cat.
Cat: My name is Wallaby P. Cat and as for your question it is rather annoying because people always look at me like I am stupid or they think I am a missing link or something. How would you feel if your own mother disowned you because you were smart mister Man.
Me: Well my name is the stations name I am mister D&G, and I would be rather angry, I might just claw someone’s eye out if you know what I mean. (Cat joke)
Wallaby: yea I know what you mean I had to claw my way out of a laboratory because as I said scientist thought I was a missing link, so they chloroformed me and I woke up in a all white area something you would see in the area 51 place yea it is all coming back to me now…… Flash Back (groan) where am I. That is of no importance; said the lifeless being. You shall be tested on until we get the answers. What answers; I said; once again of no importance; as the menacing thing was saying that he was grabbing something from his pocket so I lunged at him after swiftly getting out of the shackles he had me in. As I dug my nails into the socket of his eyes I realized that he did not feel a thing; while realizing that I was knocked to the floor and–

Hello

Back to Earth

D&G: uhm HELLO!!!!! Can you come back to earth now Wallaby.
Wallaby: Oh I am sorry; I must have drifted off, well as I was saying some really weird stuff has happened to me just because I can talk. I am just really annoyed.
D&G: Right, so your just annoyed… are you kidding me I would be planning some attack on that place right about now I wouldn’t just be annoyed I would furious with the entire world!!!!!!!!
Wallaby: Now you see what I go through, but you just showed your entire audience that I have more control than you… human.
D&G: (panting) well that is the end of our excerpt on silly little cats and how they tick, so I will see you next time.
Wallaby: How DARE you insult my kind like that! Die!!!! (Slices and impacts to the skull)
D&G: AHHHHHHHHH UGGG

(DEAD)

Don’t call him kitty cat

After Wallaby did what he had to do he left the studio unnoticed and happy that he got to take his anger on someone who would actually die. If you are wondering if he is a good or a bad guy I just have one thing to say to you… he is neither, he will destroy anyone who insults his integrity, steps on his shoes, looks at him to long, or even say hello “kitty”, so that went for the little girl who thought he was lonely… That was the last thing that girl ever said, but it was not her fault wallaby was extra peeved that day… well lets just go to the story and you will understand.

Wallaby was just walking on his hind legs toward the fish store when some jerk saw money in his paws. He thought he would just walk up to the little kitty cat and take it like a lollypop from a baby.
Jerk: (ha this will be easy) hey kitty cat what do u have there.
Wallaby: (sigh) It is fifty dollars, why do you ask.
Jerk: (ha why do I ask) Well… I want it, so hand it over “kitty”.
Wallaby: uhm… no, and don’t call me a “kitty” cat, it is quite demeaning.
Jerk: What’s the matter kitty cat, that is your name you know just hand over the money, and I wont have to hurt ya.
Wallaby: NO MY NAME IS WALLABY P. CAT NOT KITTY CAT say it again and “I” will have to hurt you!
Jerk who this cat thinks he is)
Wallaby: die! Once again he slices and dices some one to pieces. But now he is just walking home to rest from all his daily routines.
Wallaby: Why do people insist on calling me a kitty cat, Wallaby suits me well, the next person to call me kitty cat will only have those words to be remembered by. While wallaby was walking a little girl noticed him walking like he had a hard day so she thought to cheer him up. She grabbed some fried fish from her lunch and ran over to him.
Girl: hello kitty ca-
Wallaby: Stop calling me a KITTY!!!!

(Before she could finish her words his claws were already wedged in her abdomen finishing the job.)

Girl: ugh Blood sprayed from her mouth like water from a fountain, it streamed from her ears like the foamy stuff you see from dogs with rabies.